You should know that I’ve always enjoyed going to the distribution center even though it is such a long drive—almost an entire hour (understand that this is in Southern California where anything over 10 minutes is a long way away). The reason: three-eyed people are so kind. They get lonely up there—never getting visitors. So when one does arrive, they go out of their way to make them feel welcome. They shout out your name, give you books, and feed you with all of the peanut butter you can imagine. Who wouldn’t enjoy it?

So that’s why I was so angry when I got to the center. No, I wasn’t angry because they were treating me well—that’s just the thing—they weren’t treating me well. There was no joy for me. My moment was stolen by Jake.

From the moment I opened my door, all I heard was, “Hey, did you hear about Jake? He’s here!” I wanted to shout (in fact I did shout at one point) “You fools! Why do you think I’m here?” I wasn’t trying to sound mean, but come on! Why else would I have drove all the way to the center. I mean I like going, but I don’t go just to go—there has to be a reason for me going there, otherwise it would just be silly. Visiting three-eyed people just because—how ridiculous is that? They had it coming, right? Right? Tell me I’m right. Well then pretend that you think I’m right.

Thank you.

I got to the point were I actually yelled out, “Who cares about Jake! Doesn’t anyone want to say hi to me?” I’m not trying to sound self-centered or anything. I just like to be recognized. Is that so bad?

Ralph, who was following me carrying the tree, answered my question with a question of his own, “Did you know that kids who play role-playing video games are more likely to read more than two books a month than a kid who doesn’t?”

“Ralph,” I said sarcastically walking quickly to try and out pace him, “why don’t you go and taste the rainbow?”

“Skittles? You saw one?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I think there as one back by the car—nearly a whole bags worth.”

“Ralph dropped the tree and began to skip off singing, “Skittles” to an out of key tune as he went.

“What a sorry sight.” I mumbled as he hobbled off on his one leg and two feet.

Arthur had said Gatsby would be waiting for me in the cafeteria, and that’s exactly where I found him. They were both drinking peanut butter soda at a table. And you should have seen that unashamed smirk on Jake’s face—not the least bit remorseful for what he did.

Now perhaps this just kind of went over your head, or perhaps it didn’t, but doesn’t it seem a bit odd that they’re in the cafeteria. Let’s think about this for a moment…if you recall it takes almost an hour to get to the distribution center from the library; Arthur called me about the same time that Jake and Gatsby went into the cafeteria (but also remember that I had to eat lunch before driving out to the center), so that means they’ve been inside the cafeteria for about one and a half hours (perhaps more). Isn’t that a long time? Consider Jake didn’t want to eat anything, don’t you think he’d be anxious to walk around the center? If you don’t then just keep reading, but if it does and you want to find out what really happen then see “Further Explanations and Exaggerations” at the end of this book.

Whatever your feelings about the previous paragraph, forget them now and just continue with the story. Okay? Okay. Okay, then back to the dialog: “You really should watch your library patrons better.” Gatsby said with a smug smile on his face when he saw me.

I was angry and wasn’t afraid to show it, “I want to know whose to blame for all of this.”

“Take it easy,” Gatsby coolly said, “Sit with us.”

“I don’t want to sit.”

“Sit.” This was more of an order than a suggestion, and so I had no choice but following it. You can argue all you want with a three-eyed person, but never make him mad—the third eye can work to his advantage when he’s mad. Believe me, I know from prior experience.

“Maybe just for a second.” I mumbled as I sat.

Gatsby looked at Jake, then at me. “Jake and I were just talking about how he has no parents.”

I’m sorry. I hate to leave you hanging like that, but you’re going to have to read just a bit more if you want to know what’s up with Jake’s parents. It really shouldn’t be all that big of a shocker though—Gatsby asking him oddly about his parents should have clued you in. If it didn’t then really you should start reading with a bit more attention. It’s sort of rude to read it quickly, don’t you think? And you shouldn’t rush through anything in life.