This last commercial is something I wanted to advertise and my publisher almost did let me do. What? Me. A life size poster of me to be exact. Early next year you will be able to own your own “Me” poster to put in your bedroom to stare up each night. What better way to keep away people you don’t want away, then my frail and bitter figure? Standing at just over six feet tall, it promises to be the centerpiece of any room.

I know what you’re thinking…‘can I really afford a poster like that?’ Well, no—but you’re parents can. If they come up with some lame excuse like “Do you think money grows on trees” here’s what I want you to say, “Well books do…now buy me that poster. Now.” Only make sure your polite about it.

I know, I know, that’s not what you were thinking, but don’t fret I got that answer too—you want to know where you can buy a poster of me, right? Hardly anywhere, but don’t let that stop you from looking because you should be able to get them anywhere—it’s really too bad that you can’t get them anywhere.